A Startling New Development

Memo to the woman with the houndstooth scarf: I wasn't staring at you, I was staring at your scarf!

But why bother to try to explain myself. It only makes matters worse. For the most part, the unseasonably warm weather has been a blessing and a houndstooth eradicator. But today the incessant rain brought out the dark clothing once again, and I walked the earth in fear of what I might see. I was spared, however, through most of the day, and it wasn't until the final whistle blew that I noticed a sight that chilled my blood.

It was a secret houndstooth pattern-- the first like it I've seen. The pattern consisted of two dark grays, or blue grays, so a casual person might not notice a pattern at all. And then, the worst of it was that it was an ELONGATED houndstooth pattern-- houndstooth trying to disguise itself as something more abstract, innocuous, less sinister.

But it was more sinister. Much, much more sinister.